Sunday, June 28, 2015

Summer is the worst.

It is the worst time to be a graphic designer.  The worst time to be an artist.  The worst time to be an introvert and the worst time to feel good about being a mother of two boys.

In trying to describe my frustrations to my husband I used the idea of a goldfish, flopping on the countertop next to the bowl... They eyes are glassy and the mouth gropes for water.... not air.

I think that in the realm of personality types that extroverts and introverts are parts of two different ecosystems that co-exist.  There the sunny land dwellers that scoot and skuttle and then there are the under the surface dwellers who prefer it dark and quiet.

All creatures in this version of earth are anphibious, living in both places at a time.  There are a few who never cross the boundries, perhaps a handful of fish and a few lizards who comprise the most extreme members of our world.  They are either completely batty or completely crazy... the rest of us are a mix.

I am the tadpole, who grew into a frog who spent a long time with the sand and sun.  Who enjoys a quick scamper through the dirt, but is totally in love with the water.  Like wales and dolphins who live in the deep and surface only to survive. That is how I feel.

In the midst of Summer, it feels like we all have to turn on a little extra extrovert charm. After all, the gatherings seem relentless.  It starts with Mother's Day, then end of school year productions, and Memorial Day, then Father's Day, then fourth of July... this is all fine and good and fun... unless you are a water-loving toad.  It starts to drain and deplete me.  After the first week home with my boys I feel like an iphone on 4% battery that never stays plugged in for long enough to recharge.  Every day of the week is the same it feels with little time focusing.  Focusing is like food for starved introverts and we need it in large quantities and for extended periods of time.   We need solitude to drink in the peace that will sustain us and shore up our energy reserves with are in high demand.

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